The Macabre Bros have never made a zombie drinking game. Why? We honestly had no idea where to start. Think about it: If you drink for every death — zombie and human — you might as well be doing keg stands at a bloodstained frat party. That only leads to trouble. But we had to experiment, and there’s no better place to start than a faithful adaptation of Romero’s masterpiece. Zack Snyder’s Dawn of the Dead (2004) is a damn good remake of the 1978 original, with the same characters, locations and plot (at least the names have been changed). Romero turned those elements into the blueprint for modern zombie apocalypse flicks, but out of respect, we’ll give the original a review, not a drinking game. Besides, the hyper-stylized Snyder version just begs for shots.
The only thing better than watching horror films? Watching horror films and drinking beers. Drinking lots of beers. The Macabre Bros. give the Internet what it so desperately wants with The Drinking Games, an ongoing series of liver-testing games tailor-made for horror films. Be warned: The rules occasionally give away twists, plot points and other spoilers, so we recommend seeing the films first. Now, let’s get rowdy.
H = Take a hit.
D = 1 drink of beer.
S = 1 shot of the hard stuff. This time, moonshine.
Our rules call for 1 drink at every:
– sex scene
– boob sighting
Dawn of the Dead (and most zombie flicks) has a central group of survivors. When everyone else in suburbia becomes zombie fodder, the group of soon-to-be-stereotypes at the shopping mall manages to live just a little bit longer. Obviously, we wanna drink with those guys.
Here’s how it works: Everyone playing the game picks one of the eight main characters below, then drinks when they hit individual and group criteria. Think of it as role-playing with drinking and zombies: if your character kills or bones or dies, you drink, every time.
– Ana, the nurse (Sarah Polley)
– Kenneth, the cop (Ving Rhames)
– Michael, the salesman (Jake Weber)
– Andre, the soon-to-be dad (Mekhi Phiffer)
– Steve, the alcoholic rapscallion (Ty Burrell) *Drink when he’s a smartass too
– CJ, the head rent-a-cop (Michael Kelly)
– Terry, the newbie rent-a-cop (Kevin Zegers)
– Bart, the dopey rent-a-cop (Michael Barry)
When you KILL a zombie with anything (not just slow them down) — D
When you first join the group — D
If you point a gun at a human — D
If you kill a human — 2 drinks, 3 drinks if it’s a loved one
If you accidentally get separated from the group — D
If you’re bit by a zombie ANYWHERE — Finish your beer
When you die — S
Welcome to suburban Milwaukee, complete with rollerblading tykes and shower sex. How quaint. — H
BUT OH SHIT THERE ARE ZOMBIE CHILDREN!! — D
When Neighbor Dave pulls a gun on Ana…and gets nailed by an ambulance — D
Cheers when the first group enters the warm, glowing, warming glow of the shopping mall — D
“Why are they coming here?” “Memory, instinct, or maybe they’re coming for us” — D
Ladies and gentlemen, the world’s jazziest version of “Down with the Sickness” — H
When scrappy ol’ Andy dies — D
When Nicole and her yippy little dog are finally useful — D
The unveiling of the souped-up zombie killing bus — D