If there’s one thing that every kid from the ’80s and ’90s knows, it’s that Hocus Pocus is arguably the greatest Halloween movie of our time. There are few things (aside from booze and delicious pizza) that pull people together so quickly and concretely than a love for this film.
Made in 1993, Hocus Pocus is the tale of three Salem, Massachusetts witches that use their powers to suck the lives from children and stay young forever. In the beginning they’re caught and hanged, then are resurrected 300 years later when clueless California kid Max lights the black flame candle. Luckily, Max has the help of an undead cat, his little sister Dani, and crush, Allison.
We couldn’t resist diving into nostalgia for this one, but we added booze to the mix because … booze. So until Bette Midler gets someone to make a sequel, here are our rules to enjoying Hocus Pocus as an adult. — JESSICA
The only thing better than watching horror films? Watching horror films and drinking beers. Drinking lots of beers. The Macabre Bros. give the Internet what it so desperately wants with The Drinking Games, an ongoing series of liver-testing games tailor-made for horror films. Be warned: The rules occasionally give away twists, plot points and other spoilers, so we recommend seeing the films first. Now, let’s get rowdy.
H = Take a hit.
D = 1 drink of beer.
S = 1 shot of the hard stuff.
Our rules call for 1 drink at every:
– sex scene (in this movie, that becomes every sexual innuendo that you didn’t catch as a kid)
– boob sighting (Max The Virgin calls em “yabos”)
– jump scare
Thackery Binx, dreamboat, appears for the first time — D
We meet the witches! — D
Each and every time Bette Midler squeals out “Seeeesters!” — D
Time-hop to present day — H and/or D
Max shows off his mad California game by giving Allison his number in the middle of class… — D
…only to have Allison hand it right back — D *guys only*
Max’s tennis shoes become a casualty of Ernie “Ice” and Jay – D
Any reference to Max being a virgin — D
Max The Virgin says the words “Hocus Pocus” and lights the black flame candle — S or 2 drinks
Binx the cat talks for the first time — H
Max The Virgin summons the Burning Rain of Death — D
Billy the Zombie appears… and is bummed out by his tombstone — D
The witches meet “Satan” — D
…only to get kicked out by Satan’s wife — D *gals only*
Amuck amuck amuck amuck! — D
Winifred brings down the house with “I Put A Spell On You” — D
Witches kidnap Dani! And Sarah Jessica Parker gets her sexy singing on — D
Cemetery showdown — Cheers and finish your drink before the end