The Freddy vs. Jason title bout: *Enter Bruce Buffer* Are you ready to ruuummmble?!! In the red-and-black corner, weighing in at a lean, mean 130 pounds, it’s Mr. Finger Knives himself, the dream-haunting, shape-shifting child murderer of Elm Street: Freeeeeeed Kruegeeer! And in the pitch-black corner, weighing in at variable amounts across a dozen films, the big, slow, lumbering immortal: Jason Vooooooorheeeeees, a pissed-off, drowned-rat goalie and son of the Camp Crystal Lake Killa! Touch mitts, turn down the lights and consume! *Exit Bruce Buffer*
The only thing better than watching horror films? Watching horror films and drinking beers. Drinking lots of beers. The Macabre Bros. give the Internet what it so desperately wants with The Drinking Games, an ongoing series of liver-testing games tailor-made for horror films. Be warned: The rules occasionally give away twists, plot points and other spoilers, so we recommend seeing the films first. Now, let’s get rowdy.
H = Take a hit.
D = 1 drink of beer.
S = 1 shot of the hard stuff. This time around it was a murky batch of Chili Chile Breckenridge Vodka, as in the kind they don’t sell but give to employees for free.
X = Strikeout. Take a hit, take a shot and drink your remaining beer, then blow the shot out.
Our rules call for 1 drink at every:
– sex scene (in this movie, that becomes every sexual innuendo that you didn’t catch as a kid)
– boob sighting (Max The Virgin calls em “yabos”)
– jump scare
*This film seems like a frat boi kind of film, so let’s have a frat boi rule: You can only tell friends to “consume” during the movie. If you tell them to “drink,” then consume bitch! Police yourselves, please.
First Freddy sighting — D
First Jason sighting — D
Basically any reference to the two franchises (there are oodles) — D
When Jason sees “Mommy” and wakes up from his slumber. Roll title card! — H
Babe, I HATE it when you murder me with a machete and folding bed — 2 drinks
The crazy dudes get medicated — D
Farm RAVE — Take your drug of choice
And Jason steals Freddy’s kill…for the first time — 2 drinks
Jason puts out his own flaming body by slashing a keg — Finish your beer
“That goalie was pissed about something” — D
Meet Freddy the Stoner Snake, mon — H
When Freddy puts Jason to sleep with injections to the jugular — D
Freddy vs. Jason, Round 1 *ding ding ding* — D and cheers
Kelly Rowland gives Jason mouth to mouth — D (girls only)
Freddy vs. Jason, Round 2: The Real World *ding ding ding* — X